You know, its really sad that someone must weight about 90 pounds to be concidered attractive.
I feel really bad for the people that are like 190 or 290 or even bigger. I mean shit. This society is fucked up.I guess you can say I'm in one of those moods where I hate myself and everyone that makes it hard to feel good about myself. I don't understand how people can have so much confidence when they know the world doesn't view them as good enough. I think that might be my problem, but I don't think I will be able to get over it, and I am scared of what this does to me mentally. I have already given up so much to get what I want and I got nothing in return. I want to puke when I think about it all. I have started beating myself up about this and its ridiculous. I will be going to the gym every day at this rate and not eating anything but salad and drinking water, and when I kill my organs and my bones from malnutrition, it will be ok because I am beautiful in the eyes of a society that could careless if I lived or died. This is the way we live. Isn't it pathetic. I mean shit. If I wasn't good at makeup or hair and didn't have piercings or anything I would be hideous to the people I want to impress, and hell I still am even though I do have all of those things under my belt. I hate feeling like this. To top it all off I have to get clothes for work, and well that is not going to help me feel any fucking better. :/ Oh well. *shrug*

Now that I am finished with that.
I saw my first penis yesterday.
Well it was the first in the photo lab.
We got to tell some chick that she couldn't have her picture of it. haha.